Strapps

SCHOOL GIRL FUNK

I've got my black 'J' Holden Roadster waitin' in the car park
Got a dozen bottles 'o booze and a rug in the trunk
Got my wallet stuffed with money
an' some brand new prophylactics
As I stalk this dirty dance hall for a bit of School Girl Funk

There's a pack of ugly bastards standing in the corner
They're goin' thru the jive they're gonna give to the girls
But I been eatin' knuckle sandwich
and it ain't the taste I'm after
Wanna get my laughin' gear 'round some cutie's little pearl

There goes young Eliz'beth, now she's got her act together
She never hangs around with the faggots at the bar
She stumbles 'round dreamin' 'bout the latest gangster movies Doin' tricks for fat policemen if they let her hold their guns

chorus:

Sweatin' Little Virgins, Urgin', Urgin' Let me be your Surgeon,
Urgin', Urgin' On! Sweatin' Little Virgins, Urgin', Urgin' Let me be your Surgeon, Urgin', Urgin'

I ain't got no time for sweet-talk an' I'm randy as a hornet
Ain't got no time for bluffers or the kind that make you crawl
Got a flick-knife and a bike-chain and my trusty huntin' rifle
I don't need no pretty face to make the lovely ladies ball

I've got my black 'J' Holden Roadster waitin' in the car park
Got a dozen bottles 'o booze and a rug in the trunk
Got my wallet stuffed with money an' some brand new prophylactics
As I stalk this dirty Dance hall for a bit of School Girl Funk

DREAMING

The picture in the friendship magazine
Made me think that you could be my Queen
But now you're all dressed up an' frightening
I think I've changed my mind but - Oh, Oh - Oh.
The Ecstasy "Come and dig your heels in me!"

Gazing upon you, dressed in black
You quiver with fright awaiting her attack
She's cunning an' evil and vicious and cruel
You want her to stop but its -
'Just too uncool' Cos'

She's hip to you
And all the things
That you dig goin'
thru -

Remiss in your duties as Slave to the Master
She wants you to do things just a little bit faster
And oh the regrets at the thoughts furtive and snide
How they have fled now you're d-down, and you're hog-tied!

She's hip to you
And all the things
That you dig goin'
thru -

You wrote it all down in a letter marked "Madam"
You spilled the whole story - the dreams how you're had them And now that she's got you IT'S:
Oh I was only dreamin' (Love can't you see)
Tell me it's just a dream (This can't be me?)

The crack and the hiss and the scream, the sobbing form mental pictures that set your mind throbbing
And now for the worst part, the part you won't forget
You lick her boots clean as she cleans out your wallet

She's hip to you
And all the things
That you dig goin'
thru (yeah!)

Knowing you're not far away
It's very hard for me to stay
Inside my head, alone to play
Without you

ROCK CRITIC

Dreaming in classrooms and humming a tune
He was a bright boy
with words but he hummed out of tune
- Oh! No.

Resentful an' mean they never asked him to jam
They cried "Oh not again, he's such a thick ham"
- Oh! No

He liked the Beatles an' he liked the Stones
And he could write lyrics but we called them poems
He hated our guts when we packed him off home

chorus:
I'm gonna make it as a Rock Critic
Gonna write in the papers
Gonna make you sick

Gonna tell all the kiddies that I think you suck!
An' you'll come crawling to me

I'm gonna make it as a Rock Critic
Gonna sling me some mud
Gonna make it stick

Gonna make you suffer for the things that the good Lord never gave me!

Discerning and able to tell you his views
He was succinct and distinct and a bore to his boots
- Oh! No

The young ladies mocked him and oh! what a joke
It seems they laughed up their sleeves
As they snorted his coke
- Oh! No

He followed fashion and he followed taste
and he practised daily, but it was a waste
He covered his satchel with pop stars and paste.

chorus:

A hit on the Dance floor a smash with the trash
His mother dressed him in style,
his daddie choked him with cash
- Oh! No

To be with the hip boys was his only wish
and you could see how it hurt when they gave him a miss
- Oh! No

He was a tough guy, yet, he was a squirt
In love with the D.J. he wore on his shirt
His singular talent was dishin' the dirt

chorus:

OH! THE NIGHT

1 know you're not a normal girl
You're strange like me
It's possible
For you to understand my motivation

chorus:

But Oh the night
It's the right time
Oh the night when we can be so strange
And Oh the night
Filled with fright
And captivation

Feeling as I do and you
Are feeling quite askew
You are a girl of simple pleasures
I'm a boy the same

We both like things disorderly a shambles of reality
the essence of the ecstasy's our only aim

chorus:

Oh the night's so much better when it comes, when it comes
We're just two together
He and She -
We are One
You are I am
You We are the total sum

SANCTUARY

Hey - what's been wrong with you
I can't feel it there's too much deja vu

You're burnin' dim, you're lookin' slim wanna kick my shin?
it's all the same to me
Don't dig your life, known paradise you love the doctor
'cause he gives you all you need Babe,
I've seen you plead

Your crisis-timing, when things ain't rhyming coinciding,
patronising friends are there
Where's your Sanctuary?
Where's that load you carry?
Your back is bent but there's no reason I can see
Still you're callin' out to me!

chorus:
Where's your Sanctuary? Where's the load you carry?
Where's your Sanctuary now?

Dark of night is calling you find it so enthralling balling,
crawling, scrawling wall to hide within
Now the night is fright'ning
Now your knots are tight'ning
Your wicked heart is slighting all you felt before still you're callin' out for more

Yes I know your problems I know how they dog you
They fill your head, they fill your dreams, they disappear
Your one-act play is boring but you can't help adoring the words you write,
the notes you sing - the pain you bring
But your point has lost its - sting

chorus: Can't keep it up without feelin' a fool when she says she's happy - She's so cruel!

I LONG TO TELL YOU (TOO)

Well I didn't treat you right
But I didn't treat you wrong
And it just ain't the same
And it has been so long!

In Gucci and Laurent
You clothe your pretty self
And I remember when -
I wished you such ill-health

To meet again is really strange
Your smiling face-to-face, again
Oh - Oh
And

chorus:
I LONG TO TELL YOU TOO
I LONG TO TELL YOU - TRULY
I LONG TO TELL YOU TOO -

Well I didn't hear you call
But you never spoke too loud
We shoulda had a ball
But we never knew quite how

You big-shot Dafry-Dame
Enough was quite enough
But tryin' to break away
Well it was pretty tough!

To meet again is really strange Your smiling face to face -
again

chorus:

IN YOUR EAR

Who's the man whose got it all worked out
Who's the man who never shows a doubt
Who's the man who makes you want to shout

Who's the demon of the Showbiz Trip
Who's the whizz kid with le acid wit
Who's the nice guy who just wants a bit

chorus:

Oh! he will tell you it's cool
When it ain't ~'cos you're all broke
Take you outside for advice -
What a nice bloke
Say heavy things - guaranteed to make
You choke
Hear it awful clear
In your ear

Who's the man who really digs the bullet
Who's the man with the magic wallet
Who's the dude who really "ain't done nothing yet"

Who's your friend trusted, true, and tried Who's the guy who's
always by your side Your greatest fan's the man - who never
tells you lies

chorus:
Oh! he will tell you it's cool
When it ain't -'cos you're all broke
Take you outside for advice
- What a nice bloke
Say heavy things - guaranteed to make
You choke
It's all just part of
The service my dear
Come here for a friendly
Word in your ear

Who's always with you through thick and thin
When you get itchy who's your second skin
When you want out - who grins that heavy grin

Who's always sorry but it's writ on paper I help you now son
you will pay me later No strings attached - I'm doing you a
favour!

SUICIDE

Oh! What an ugly word Suicide is
You can feel it stick in your throat
You can choke on it -

But the sound always enthralled you
Like the glowing EXIT sign
The ultimate solution
To ease your mind

chorus:
And you were here just one week ago
You were here
Lookin' for someone to know
You were here
And I never thought you'd do it
I wish I knew the answer but like all the rest - I blew it

Well aware you were of the "enemy",
Assassin from within
Wishin' yourself such torture - such mad chagrin

And your friend would try to help you
To stop your sad decline
But he wouldn't travel with you to your dream divine

chorus:
Now you are a memory
Best not thought about
Better gone forgotten
With your pain an' doubt

To think of you ain't healthy
It makes me feel my worst
Perhaps you found the secret
And just tried it first

All songs written by Ross Stagg.
Published by Almighty Music.
Used with permission of Thunderbird Records.